Push through

I hate constant complainers. People who just want to complain about anything to be heard. I deal with that a lot where I work, and I hope I’m not becoming one and I’m sorry to even write this down. But holy crap, I’m about done with it. I’ve been trying to do a simple, and what should be fun, job of coordinating a holiday party for work. Somehow, it’s turned into a big mess, with people complaining about everything, and no communication going between the few that were supposed to be helping me. I think this is why I like to do this kind of stuff on my own. I thought maybe if I enlisted some help on this, it’d make things run more smoothly. Not at all. I am supposed to be the main go-to for coordination, and yet at least twice I’ve gotten information way later than anyone else, with the follow up of, “I thought you already knew that” or “I thought someone already talked to you about that”. Those sentences will drive me up the wall faster than any. I’d rather hear something twice, than someone assume I’ve already heard it. You know what assuming does right? It makes an ass….out of yourself. (Check out the movie Slammin’ Salmon if you liked that).

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This drama all happened yesterday afternoon, so after I left work, I drove to my husband’s work and we had coffee and talked and I was ever so grateful for him letting me talk and complain his ear off. Then I went home and got in a good run to get the good vibes flowing. Then complained a little more to my roommate. Now it’s time to push through it, find the good that can come out of it, and let it go. Like I said, I really don’t like constant complainers (especially if you have no solution and you just feel like voicing your annoying opinion), but today I felt like writing it down. It’s the final piece of me letting this all go.

As far as the good coming out of it, this has motivated me to revamp my resume, and start the look for a position elsewhere. It reminded me that you don’t have to settle in your job if you don’t like it, especially if you’re relatively young. I don’t want my job to become my life, but it certainly doesn’t mean I have to stay somewhere with people who have lost all motivation to try hard, succeed or innovate. Where I’m at now is at a small office with people who have given up on life and have settled into their job, knowing they won’t lose it, even if they do sub par work everyday. It’s not an environment of care, or innovation or excitement, or even happiness. People seem to be miserable, and I think they take their misery out on anyone who has a smile on their face.

So for now, my irritations are sliding off my back, and I’m using this as motivation for improvement and something better.

It’s a new year. Time to make it the best yet.

push through

Happy

I think some people are better at being happy on a regular basis than others. Some people have to work harder at feeling good, especially if something doesn’t go as planned. I’m one of those people. I’m not smiley by default and I don’t always go the optimism route when something goes wrong, but this is something I’ve been trying to work on, and I got the opportunity to test it out when I recently found out I didn’t get the job that I thought I was a shoe-in for.

One of the things  I’ve been trying to do more of lately is to stop and think before I react to something that’s just happened. In this case, I surveyed the outcome of not getting this job. On the down side, it would have been a huge bump in pay (around a 25% hike). It was also a few miles closer to the house and I knew who my new boss would be. I heard from him and another co-worker of his, that the employees are friendly and easy going, which I learned first-hand from the board who interviewed me. The interview had gone great and conversation flowed well. These thoughts definitely made me sad and a bit depressed that I didn’t get the job.

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But looking at the not-so-bad parts about not getting the job outweighed the bad. I still had all my vacation. I hate starting a new job and having zero vacation to use for months. I like my free time! We are planning on taking a week-long trip in November and possibly a trip to MN in December. This would have been hampered, if not stopped, if I had gotten the offer and couldn’t choose my start date. Even though the job was technically a few miles closer to my house, I would have to take smaller side streets to get to it, and it would have negated travel time. Yeah, a bump in pay is always nice (especially 25%), BUT we are doing fine as we are now, and money isn’t a top priority on my list when looking for jobs. I certainly wouldn’t take a pay cut, but it’s not the end-all factor when I look for a job.

happy

So when I weigh out these factors, it stops me from running to my bed and crying into my pillow. There are so many more things to worry about than my next job. Maybe there’s a reason I am staying where I am. I can’t see the future and I can’t see how everything is tangled together so for now, I’m going to sit back, go to work, and work on all the other things I have going on in my life. I’ve been blessed with a lot of positives in my life and a lot of good opportunities that some have not had, so I want to focus on these, because these are what I have. Focusing on what you do not have can only lead to misery and heart break.

Dorky awkwardness with all kinds of cool

I’m probably pretty dorky sometimes, and definitely usually awkward. Part of it I attribute to me being an only child. I didn’t have any one to look up to or glean the, do this, not that, rules from. I didn’t have cousins near me until I was a teenager, and since I was some transplant from some weird west coast state, they wanted nothing to do with me. So I had to pave my own way. I was always told to be true to yourself, even if others don’t like it. I did this, and true to the wisdom, lost some friends because I was too different from them. But things work out. I don’t have a million friends, but that’s okay because most of them would be fake, and what’s the point in that?

Either way, this video made me think about awkwardness and paving your own way, because you never know, someone may think your dorky awkwardness is actually pretty cool and deserves a record deal. Be true to yourselves folks!