When life starts pulling you apart, what do you do? Until today, we were at a crossroads. Both of us had job offers come our way. Sounds great at first, but the jobs are not in the same place. One is out of state. The out of state job would have been much more of a challenge up front because moving takes a lot of time, effort and money, but it would have brought us closer to our family and friends, and most likely would have lent to a less chaotic life a large city provides. The other offer would keep us here where we are, and give a good pay boost (not as good as the other one), but would help out, and possibly help enough so that we can at least fly home every once in a while instead of driving 19+ hours.
The decision was made to stay. I don’t know how I completely feel about it. My brain is telling me that it’s probably the best thing for now, and that just because we don’t move now, doesn’t mean the opportunity won’t come to move later, which may end up being a much more opportune time. But my heart sees a chance at being closer to home fade away. We start to build these ideas in our head that it will happen, so I get excited and start searching neighborhoods, houses, restaurants, parks, etc., so when it comes decision time, the decision is not easy to say “maybe next time”. I just hope that we are both okay with the decision over time, and that an opportunity will come later, at the right time, and we’ll know it.
When life changes come up like these, I start to think about what is really important in life. We can easily get caught up in climbing the ladder, pursuing some “thing” we decided was the most important “thing” at the time. But stepping back usually reveals something else. Getting that next job or promotion is nice, but it certainly shouldn’t be the most important. The shininess of these moments become dull quickly and eventually completely fade away. Spending my limited time on earth with friends and family, and exploring this world tend to stick out to me as more important. Those memories stick in my head much more than a pay raise. The only thing this pay raise/job move will or can do for us is afford us the ability to see friends and family more often.
With these reflections, I also start to think about changes, as they are bound to come. Things as small as my blog theme come up in my head as needed for change. I think it’s time for me to re-focus this blog into something more specific, if I’m going to keep it around and make sure I focus on things I enjoy. I recently got back from a month-long school in Florida. When I got back, the hubs and I decided to venture out to Padre Island State Park for the day. It was a semi-spontaneous adventure that we cooked up. We decided also, on the way back, to hit up some BBQ in Lockhart, something we’d been talking about doing for years. The day was about as close to perfect as you could get (minus minor sunburn).
These are the memories I want to continue to create. I love going on adventures with him, as well as enjoy our friends, and continuing to build stronger friendships (something that is inherently difficult for me). My hope is that we continue on this track and keep focused on what matters most in life, even if our path isn’t going exactly as planned.