Remember when you were young and you got your first job? It was pretty exciting. Then you kept going, and eventually moved up to a bigger and better job. And through the years, when you applied, interviewed and got a new job offer, you took it up faster than you could say ‘pay day’.

Maybe it’s just me, or maybe this happens to us all, but I feel that excitement go away, and be replaced with feelings of anxiety. Is it just me or does this happen to other people as well? Why does it get scary to change jobs when you get older? Is it because there is more responsibility included? Is it because there’s so much more involved when you get older? Job security, pay, benefits, vacation, flexibility, all seem to mean more when you’re out on your own. When you’re in high school or college, you’re just looking for a  job and pay. When you get older, you’re looking at flexibility, compatibility with co-workers, room to move, etc. Maybe it’s me letting my anxiety take over. I’m not sure. I try not to, because when it all boils down, it’s still just a job. Heck, of course I want to enjoy it, but a job isn’t what defines me.

If you can’t tell, I’m in the running for a new position. I should be excited because it offers a wonderful pay raise and is a couple miles closer to the house….but it’s not the first feeling that comes to my heart or my brain. Maybe because my brain seems to react much faster than my heart, my first feelings are of anxiety. I start to wonder if this new job has some of the qualities of a job that I don’t  like, like a restrictive schedule, bad co-workers, or it’s just a job I can’t hack. Right now, my job is kind of stale, to be honest, but it’s not bad. It’s comfortable (I’ve been here three years) very flexible, which I like (including work from home), offers decent time-off and pays on a good schedule. This new job possibility may or may not offer the same flexibility, pays on an abnormal schedule, but does offer decent benefits. I don’t know what the people are like, and working with crappy people can throw off even the greatest job. For the most part, I get along with the people I work with currently, but there are a couple of personalities that everyone has a hard time working with, which may not seem like much, but it’s an office of about 10, so two bad personalities can make it tough.

At the same time, while my brain is telling me all the possible reasons this transition may be bad, the other part of my brain is telling me that it could be good too (it’s the quieter voice but I still hear her whisper). If you never changed jobs, how would you have gotten to where you are now? True. The people you work with now can be problematic, so what’s to say these new people won’t be so much better? Also true.

anxiety circle

*sigh* This honestly could go on forever. Luckily I have an interview next week, so we’ll see what happens.

Until then…

blog-anxiety

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2 thoughts on “Jobs, anxiety

  1. I have the same exact feelings of anxiety everytime I get close on another job. You just feel like maybe you are trading your old problems for new ones and maybe the older one wasn’t as bad as you thought.

  2. Exactly. I start second-guessing myself. Maybe I’m just a big whiner and I should shut my mouth and stick tight. Or maybe I should move on? Ugh. This stuff makes me feel all pukey inside.

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